the hyphens that define my life

Coundown to our move to Spokane T-1: She Ain’t What She Used To Be June 18, 2013

Do you know this children’s song?

Oh, the old gray mare
She ain’t what she used to be
Ain’t what she used to be
The old gray mare
She ain’t what she used to be
Many long years ago.

Right here, right now, this is the story of my life.  I am the old gray mare.  I ain’t what I used to be, ain’t what I used to be, many long years ago.

Don’t say, “you’re only as old as you feel.”  That phrase doesn’t help me at all.  If this phrase is true, I feel about 90 years old right now.  I’m sore, I’m tired, and my back is going to snap in half.

In case you’re wondering, moving sucks.  Moving has always sucked.  It hasn’t gotten better with age.  Clearly I haven’t either.

I asked my husband last night, “why do we have to be cheap ass DIY-ers? Why are we doing all this work?” Ok, ok, frugal would have been a better word choice but it doesn’t convey the heartfelt message. I’ll work on my word choices AFTER I stop hobbling along like an old woman.

This could be my last move.  I don’t think I have another one in me just for the energy required to make the shift.

Then again, you know with my track record I can’t honestly say that.  Let’s look at what I would do differently with my next move…

  • Hire movers
  • Have the kids around to help – work and social outings should not be allowed during crunch time.
  • Be in top physical condition, focusing on biceps, core and quads
  • Schedule daily massage and chiropractic visits
  • Get physical clearance from my doctor
  • Get more sleep
  • Ease up on the drinking and partying the weekend prior to the move.
  • Eat healthy (the whole not cooking thing backfired on me this week.  Restaurant food, whether gourmet or fast food, makes me feel bloated and stodgy.
  • Don’t sell your washer and dryer earlier than planned.  I’m typing this post from the laundromat.  I’m bringing my closet full of skeletons with me to Spokane, but I will not travel with dirty laundry.

A good list but it would be easier to just stay put than to do all this just to move.  Then again….

We’ve covered old, gray, nag – oh no, I’m the mare in this song, not a nag, I’m the nag at home I forgot.

Here’s the real bummer.  We’re just getting started.  I’m whining about loading boxes into a truck.  137 boxes.  That’s it.  We sold our furniture.  I’m not even doing any heavy big furniture moving.  We drop the boxes at Amtrak today to be shipped to Spokane.  I did say we’re cheap right?  My husband researched and discovered that shipping our boxes with Amtrak was far less expensive than any other shipping method.  fascinating.  We are driving 30 miles to Union Station to drop off the boxes, 30 miles home and then….we’re going to Disneyland!

My husband and I agree that we should rent wheelchairs and make the kids push us around all day.  This old gray mare, she ain’t what she used to be.


My Daily Blog: T-5 H.A.G.S. June 14, 2013

Schools Out for Summer.

HAGS!! is the new acronym to hit elementary school yearbooks.  I couldn’t decipher it on my own, I had to enlist the help of my 9-year-old to guide me through the elementary school vernacular.  My thought was that HAGS!! was similar to WHAS UP?!?!  Instead of saying HUGS!! you say HAGS!! Oh no.  HAGS is simply Have A Great Summer.  Of course. has some entertaining definitions and examples using HAGS in a sentence.  I won’t go into great detail here and highly recommend you check it out yourself, but I will tell you that my favorite defined HAGS as an STD (yes, you read that correctly, sexually transmitted disease).  HAGS could also stand for Herpes, AIDS, Ghonorrea and Syphilis.  Now read your elementary kid’s yearbook and interpret all 37 HAGS references with the STD message.  Fun to frightening in seconds flat.

No more pencils.  No more books.  No more teachers dirty looks.  These are all things worth celebrating, but school out for summer for me should be celebrated for not having to wake sleeping children, pack lunches and no homework!  Woo!  My life just got easier.  Except, now  I have to entertain 3 kids so they don’t fry their brains playing video games all summer, fight like mad dogs or push me further into the well of insanity.

What are your summer plans?  Here’s a newsflash in case you haven’t been paying attention – we’re moving to Spokane.  Though moving is a big project, it isn’t all-consuming right now, nor will it be once we arrive.  We’ll take it one box at a time.

We’re billing this summer as the “Summer of Adventure”.  It could equally be named “Spokane, You Got It, We’re Doing It”.  “Summer of Adventure” actually begins on Tuesday, before we leave, with our final trip to Disneyland.  As annual pass holders, we have our fill of Disney often, but Tuesday, with the help of our adult daughter, the boys will be at Disney all day long.  We’ll show up for dinner and take over for the rest of the night.  (Smart).

Nothing says summer like a good road trip!  We will be on the road and we will cover 1,237 miles but that is the beginning and end of “trip”.  We’re moving, no sightseeing or time-consuming tourist attractions on the way up.  Not much of an adventure?  Yeah.  Right.  If that’s what you think, you’ve never travelled 20 hours, in a car, with children, not to mention our menagerie.  Door to door in less than the 20 prescribed hours it takes to get there without losing our minds.  Safety first, of course.

The Adventure picks back up when we arrive in Spokane at the start of Hoopfest, “the largest  3-on-3 street basketball tournament on the planet”.  Check it out Spokane utilizes 42 city blocks for 456 courts on day one of this weekend extravaganza.  We are definitely going to check out this action.  The boys are already talking about forming teams next year.

That’s as far as we have planned.  Knowing what we’re doing next weekend hardly qualifies a dramatic action-packed title like “Summer of Adventure”.  Buying furniture doesn’t qualify either, yet it counts for me..  If you’re one of the kids, your biggest concern is when will the internet be connected?  If you’re my husband, his plans include buying a boat which certainly lends credibility to “Summer of Adventure”.  Buying a boat will be great for all of the lakes and summer fun in Spokane.  I cringe at the thought.  This will be our fourth boat since we’ve been together.  Boats are a lot of fun, but they are a lot of work.  There is no work sitting on the beach with a book where I am perfectly content.  Just the thought of the beach and a book takes me to a happy place on a lake, at the ocean, or next to a mud puddle.  With adventurous boys and a water-skiing husband that also loves to sail, we’re definitely boating this summer if not sailing too.

Bicycling, checking out the sites, entertaining friends and family, trying new restaurants and just absorbing our new surroundings will be adventure in itself.  Our summer will be full of fun.

HAGS!  Whether this is a wish for fun or catching an STD, I hope you have a great time doing whatever you have planned this summer!  Make it count.