multi-hyphenated-me

the hyphens that define my life

My Daily Blog T-8 My Life in 40 Moves June 11, 2013

Several of my “friends” have called me their transient friend since the news of our pending move. Hearing this from those who have lived within a 20 mile radius their entire lives, doesn’t surprise me.  Hearing this comment from a globetrotting friend made me take pause and  question what was actually being said.  I had to look up “transient” to confirm the definition as my initial response to the word is derogatory as a drifter, or homeless.

Transient:

1
a: passing especially quickly into and out of existence : transitory <transient beauty>

b: passing through or by a place with only a brief stay or sojourn <transient visitors>

2
: affecting something or producing results beyond itself
“Brief stay” is what dubbing me transient.  “Brief” is subjective.  For me, brief is a day, a week, or a month.  For others, our six years in this community is brief.  What does brief mean to you?
Transient may not be the best word choice, but I have moved quite a bit.  The move to Spokane will be my 40th move.  My 45th birthday is in September.  No, I haven’t moved nearly every year of my life. I have had the pleasure of moving multiple times in a single year to rack up the count.  My moves define my life.  I have lived in 6 states, Washington will be the 7th. Fifteen of my moves were beyond my control while I was dependent on my mom. Four moves during the college years. Eight moves before I realized I was in a really bad relationship before I, well, moved out.  Four moves as a single mom. And eleven moves in the 16 years my husband and I have been together. Some of my moves were transient, to be sure.  In 2001, while our house was in escrow in Parks, AZ, we moved to the apartment my husband’s company provided in Tusayan, AZ, at the gates of the Grand Canyon.  Sixty days we lived at the Grand Canyon.  Our daughter became a Junior Ranger and we hiked and explored every day. I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything.  In fact, I wouldn’t change most of my moves as they, for the most part, have all been for the better. There are some moves that I’m not so thrilled with, but they have shaped my character and made me who I am. Transient or not.
Here is a list of the places I’ve lived:
1. Monroe, MI
2. Sandusky, OH
3. Castalia, OH
4. Sandusky, OH
5. Norwalk, OH
6. Driggs, ID (Teton Valley)
7. Santa Monica, CA (1)
8. Santa Monica, CA (2)
9. Torrance, CA (1)
10. Torrance, CA (2)
11. Playa del Rey, CA (1)
12. Playa del Rey, CA (2)
13. San Diego, CA
14. Playa del Rey, CA (3)
15. Santa Monica, CA (3)
16. Long Beach, CA
17. Playa del Rey, CA (4)
18. Westchester, CA
19. Hermosa Beach, CA (1)
20. Redondo Beach, CA (1)
21. San Pedro, CA
22. Venice, CA
23. Hawthorne, CA
24. Redondo Beach (2)
25. Manhattan Beach, CA
26. Hermosa Beach, CA (2)
27. Oceanside, CA (1)
28. Westchester, CA (2)
29. Redondo Beach, CA (3)
30. Redondo Beach, CA (4)
31. Placentia, CA (1)
32. Tusayan, AZ  (The Grand Canyon)
33. Parks, AZ (1)
34. Las Vegas, NV
35. Laguna Beach, CA
36. Oceanside, CA (2)
37. Parks, AZ (2)
38. Placentia, CA (2)
39. Placentia, CA (3)
40. Spokane, WA
What is most interesting to us about our Spokane move is that Spokane has been selected by us, for us.  Most of my other moves have been dictated by employment, the economy, or current situation.  Spokane is a grown-up move.  We have researched and selected Spokane based on everything it offers us as a family and each of us individually.
Is Spokane our end all?  Who am I to say?  Home is where my heart is, wherever that may be.
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T-18 Perspective June 1, 2013

Filed under: Life,Quotes — multihyphenatedme @ 7:54 am
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Do you know where you were and what you were doing 6 years ago today?  I do.

My husband was working in Los Angeles. Our two older kids were at school in Kindergarten and 7th grade. The younger two ages 3 and 2 were left with a babysitter as I drove 20 miles from Parks into Flagstaff AZ to to work with a fast wifi connection before runnng errands.  My favorite stop was Late for the Train coffee shop on Milton Road for their many tables, fast wifi and good coffee.  My car was on fumes when I rolled into the parking lot.  I added “get gas” to my list of errands to run later.

After an hour of so, I received a call from the school superintendent to tell me, the school board president, that there was a fatal accident involving three sisters (two of our students and an 18-year-old) of a local Parks family travelling to California around midnight the previous night.  The two small classes (10-15 students in each) involved, 5th and 7th grade, were extremely upset and crisis counselors had been contacted. Inside the coffee shop, I yelled into the phone for information and details.  As I grabbed my computer and stuff, my phone rang again.  This time it was someone (I can’t remember who) explaining that my daughter, as well as the rest of the 7th grade class, was hysterically upset over the tragic loss of their friend and I needed to get on campus as soon as possible.  I explained I was in town and would arrive in 20 minutes.

Everyone in the coffee shop, strangers and those who knew me as a regular alike, stared silently as they witnessed my distress and sensed the urgency to get out of there as quickly as possible.

I ran to my car.  Leaving the parking lot I realized (DAMN) no gas.  I banged on the steering wheel screaming expletives.  I quickly drove to the nearest gas station.  In my haste and stress and delirium, I couldn’t remember what side the gas tank was on, even though I had owned the car many years. I drove around and around the pumps, unable to get the car positioned with the tank next to the pump.  Frustrated and crazed I got out of the car and stretched the pump until it reached around my car to pump gas. Shaking, I only pumped what I needed to get me to the school.

Eighteen miles. Blindly driving.  Crying.  Screaming.  Disbelieving.

Six years later, my friend grieves the loss of her babies. Each year, this is the hardest week of her life, May 31 the hardest day and summer is tough with each girl’s birthday one right after the other in June, July and August.

Yet it was this week that this friend beautifully posted: “someone somewhere is struggling more than you can imagine. be grateful for what you have, how very insufficient it may seem at times. be thankful for those around you. make sure your kids know, WITHOUT A DOUBT that they are loved. that is the greatest legacy we leave our children”.

That’s perspective.

Alohna, Bryanna, Charless, you are remembered,  you are loved.

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