multi-hyphenated-me

the hyphens that define my life

T-18 Perspective June 1, 2013

Filed under: Life,Quotes — multihyphenatedme @ 7:54 am
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Do you know where you were and what you were doing 6 years ago today?  I do.

My husband was working in Los Angeles. Our two older kids were at school in Kindergarten and 7th grade. The younger two ages 3 and 2 were left with a babysitter as I drove 20 miles from Parks into Flagstaff AZ to to work with a fast wifi connection before runnng errands.  My favorite stop was Late for the Train coffee shop on Milton Road for their many tables, fast wifi and good coffee.  My car was on fumes when I rolled into the parking lot.  I added “get gas” to my list of errands to run later.

After an hour of so, I received a call from the school superintendent to tell me, the school board president, that there was a fatal accident involving three sisters (two of our students and an 18-year-old) of a local Parks family travelling to California around midnight the previous night.  The two small classes (10-15 students in each) involved, 5th and 7th grade, were extremely upset and crisis counselors had been contacted. Inside the coffee shop, I yelled into the phone for information and details.  As I grabbed my computer and stuff, my phone rang again.  This time it was someone (I can’t remember who) explaining that my daughter, as well as the rest of the 7th grade class, was hysterically upset over the tragic loss of their friend and I needed to get on campus as soon as possible.  I explained I was in town and would arrive in 20 minutes.

Everyone in the coffee shop, strangers and those who knew me as a regular alike, stared silently as they witnessed my distress and sensed the urgency to get out of there as quickly as possible.

I ran to my car.  Leaving the parking lot I realized (DAMN) no gas.  I banged on the steering wheel screaming expletives.  I quickly drove to the nearest gas station.  In my haste and stress and delirium, I couldn’t remember what side the gas tank was on, even though I had owned the car many years. I drove around and around the pumps, unable to get the car positioned with the tank next to the pump.  Frustrated and crazed I got out of the car and stretched the pump until it reached around my car to pump gas. Shaking, I only pumped what I needed to get me to the school.

Eighteen miles. Blindly driving.  Crying.  Screaming.  Disbelieving.

Six years later, my friend grieves the loss of her babies. Each year, this is the hardest week of her life, May 31 the hardest day and summer is tough with each girl’s birthday one right after the other in June, July and August.

Yet it was this week that this friend beautifully posted: “someone somewhere is struggling more than you can imagine. be grateful for what you have, how very insufficient it may seem at times. be thankful for those around you. make sure your kids know, WITHOUT A DOUBT that they are loved. that is the greatest legacy we leave our children”.

That’s perspective.

Alohna, Bryanna, Charless, you are remembered,  you are loved.

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T-24 Day of Rest May 26, 2013

Filed under: Family,Life — multihyphenatedme @ 9:05 am
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The yard sale was a huge success. In six hours, almost everything sold, I managed to get a horrible v-neck t-shirt sunburn tan line, we met a lot of fascinating people who thought my junk was awesome and we managed to bring in a lot of cash.  I love yard sales.

My house is now bare.  Well, almost.  Living room and dining room and patio furniture are gone.  Bunk beds and bookcases are sold.  What’s left is a tiny vintage 4 person table and chairs, my desk (I have to work), our bed and dressers.  The boys are in sleeping bags on the floor and loving it.  TVs mounted, video games hooked up and internet is accessible so all is well in their world.

I’m exhausted.  My body is sore.  I think I’m nursing a bit of a hangover and food coma too.  After the yard sale we went to a Dortmund vs. Bayern soccer party with Trace’s soccer team.  Brats, beer and kraut were an excellent post-sale meal along with some relaxing time by the pool (in the shade thanks to my v-burn). This past week I miraculously managed three girls nights out, more than I typically manage in three months.  A wine tasting fundraiser, movie night to see Gatsby and last night a “Thank God 6th Grade is Over” party with great friends, delicious food and wine.

Today I’m laying low. I need a day of rest. Pedicures with my girl on the agenda and planning our weekly menus for our final meals in California.

Enjoy your Sunday, get some rest.

 

Goodbye 2012 December 31, 2012

Goodbye 2012.

It has been a good year overall.

I started a blog, this blog, multi-hyphenated-me.  Though only 8 posts this year, I love it and have big plans for the future.  I lived up to, or tried to live up to, my hyphens, every day.

My 7 month foot saga put me back in touch with my old friend Reading. Perhaps due to many Ohio winters with not much else to do or maybe it is the escape from reality that is reading’s gift, in either case, I have always been a reader.  Being a project person and needing a project that would keep me down and resting while my foot recovered, I turned to reading.  I decided to read all of the New York and Los Angeles Best Sellers , fiction, non fiction, children’s, hardback and paperback.  It was mid-January when I started this project and it was sometime in February that I realized I had to scale back the lists in order to be somewhat manageable.  The LA Times fiction nonfiction hardcover and paperback lists were my source of material.  The Public Library was my resource.  I’m happy to report that I have read 134 books in eleven and half months, roughly 12 books a month.  I have so many favorites.  I learned so much and was reminded of things I have known and lived and seen. There were a few books that were wasteful of my time spent reading them but I learned from them too. I travelled from Machu Picchu to Africa to Paris to India and points in between.  I cried.  Sobbed.  I laughed and laughed.  The library staff knows me by name. The intelligent, literary conversations I had with so many in discussing books was truly one of the highlights of this journey.  On Facebook I “liked” “The Book Isn’t Dead” Community and have been inspired by discussions and quotes and moments. This journey inspired me to be the Book Fair Chairperson with the elementary school PTA where we had our most profitable sale to date.  From my Book Fair experience and my frequent trips to the library, I learned about Battle of the Books and rallied 5 twelve year olds to form a team and read.  I was asked months ago if I would keep up the reading pace, off the same reading list in 2013.  My answer then and remains, no.  Will I continue to read?  Of course! To focus on the best-selling Pattersons, Silvas, Picoults, et al is a huge oversight to the countless great writers out there with books that deserve to be read. The best part is to say, because of this project, I have grown.

My foot finally healed and I embraced the ability to move.  I ran three 5 ks and one 8k.  My friend and I walked/ran 95+ miles in the month of August, in the wee hours of the morning before we had to go to work.

We, as a family, spent great time together.  Camping trips in the Santa Ynez mountains and at the Kern River.  An awesome house rental in Palm Springs, and resort living in San Diego.  Summer was filled with trips to the beach, the water slide park, movies and parks. We experienced the multi-facets of Southern California.

Successfully raising a child is one of life’s greatest rewards.  To bear witness to my daughter graduating high school is a huge milestone for me.  I am so proud of her.  It wasn’t until she finished her first 16 collegiate units that I realized how quickly the next phase of her life, the college years, would pass.  My work here is not complete, nor will it ever be.  Our boys are quickly aging up too and their perspectives and antics are heartwarming and hand wringing, usually at the same time.

This was my year of fundraising.  Or was it my year of baking?  A fantastic combination of both.  What I learned most, or what was reinforced most  from these efforts was the incredible group of friends and coworkers that support me and have major sugar addictions.  Thank you. I will keep you supplied.

This year, as a recruiter, I regained footing lost on the slippery slope of the recession. It feels great to have traction, being back in the groove, doing what I love.  The icing is that I get to work with awesome people at an amazing company too.  The chapter “How to Get a Job” in Augusten Burroughs book, This is How.  Any recruiting advice that starts with a dual personality reference to the movie Sybil  and the person we become when interviewing is terrific.   “The truth is:  You are only the person you actually are; you may not may not be the person they actually want.” This is How is one of my favorites and a book everyone should read.

As my boss tells me, with all on my plate, something has to give.  He’s right, just don’t tell him I said so. As much as I feel I accomplished this year, the counterbalance is that I didn’t stay on diets I self prescribed, or lose the weight I wanted to lose (with all that mileage you would think…). I didn’t travel to all the places I wanted to go.  I could have been a better wife, mother, friend, person, employee, better in all of my roles.  My garden could have been better.  I still can’t hula hoop. Something does have to give.  Figuring out that something every day is the challenge.

Two Thousand Twelve was good to me and my family and we lived life well. For this I am thankful and know we are blessed. Thank you for sharing this year with me.

2012 Reading List

*books I enjoyed

Fiction

  1. The Book Thief*
  2. Extremely Loud Incredibly Close*
  3. The Marriage Plot
  4. The Art of Fielding*
  5. 1Q84*
  6. The Goon Squad
  7. Tinker Tailor Sodier Spy
  8. The Paris Wife*
  9. Against All Enemies
  10. Bonnie
  11. Then Again
  12. The Drop
  13. The Sense of An Ending
  14. Private #1 Suspect
  15. Breakdown
  16. Believing the Lie
  17. Raylan
  18. Death Comes to Pemberly
  19. Defending Jacob
  20. Homefront*
  21. The Summer Garden
  22. Kill Shot
  23. What We Talk About When We Talk About Anne Frank
  24. Dreams of Joy*
  25. 44 Charles Street
  26. The 9th Judgment
  27. Celebrity in Death
  28. War Horse*
  29. Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children*
  30. Night Road*
  31. Capture of the Earl of Glencrae
  32. The Starboard Sea*
  33. Sacre Bleu*
  34. Fifty Shades of Grey
  35. Fifty Shades Darker
  36. Fifty Shades Freed
  37. The Fault In Our Stars*
  38. The Lucky One*
  39. Calico Joe*
  40. All There Is*
  41. State of Wonder*
  42. Istanbul Passage *
  43. The Kings of Cool
  44. Beautiful Ruins*
  45. Private Games*
  46. Guilty Wives*
  47. Bones are Forever*
  48. The Beautiful Mystery*
  49. The Night Circus*
  50. The Next Best Thing*
  51. The Prisoner of Heaven*
  52. A Hologram fro the King
  53. Mission to Paris*
  54. The Age of Miracles*
  55. Where’d You Go, Bernadette?*
  56. Creole Bell*
  57. The Fallen Angel*
  58. Shadow of Night*
  59. The Life of Pi*
  60. Broken Harbor*
  61. 3rd Wheel Diary of a Whimpy Kid
  62. Invention of Hugo Cabret*
  63. The Timekeeper*
  64. Zoo
  65. Notorious Nineteen
  66. In One Person*
  67. The Perks of Being a Wallflower*
  68. Gone Girl*

Non Fiction

  1. Bossypants*
  2. Outliers: the story of success*
  3. Unbroken*
  4. Heaven is For Real
  5. Steve Jobs
  6. Elizabeth the Queen
  7. The Obamas
  8. Ameritopia
  9. Quiet: The Power of Introverts
  10. The Power of Habit*
  11. Wild*
  12. Bringing Up Bebe
  13. Killing Lincoln*
  14. Blue Nights
  15. Full Service
  16. Take the Stairs*
  17. Great by Choice*
  18. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks*
  19. Thinking Fast and Slow*
  20. The 17 Day Diet
  21. Taking People With You
  22. Abundance*
  23. Moneyball
  24. The Big Short
  25. Tipping Point*
  26. I Am A Pole*
  27. Turn Right at Machu Pichu*
  28. Pioneer Woman Cooks
  29. Behind the Beautiful Forevers*
  30. The 5 Love Languages*
  31. The Happiness Project*
  32. Days of Destruction, Days of Revolt*
  33. I Remember Nothing
  34. The Vow
  35. Paris versus New York*
  36. The Irish Americans
  37. It Worked for Me
  38. Cronkite
  39. Mortality*
  40.  How to Be a Woman
  41. I Hate Everything Starting with Me
  42. Yes Chef
  43. Cocktail Hour Under the Tree of Forgetfulness*
  44. Not Taco Bell Material
  45. Farther Away*
  46. A Natural Woman*
  47. Go the F*** to Sleep*
  48. American Grown*
  49. Boomerang
  50. Blood Bones and Butter*
  51. The Mobile Wave
  52. The Amateur
  53. My Berlin Kitchen*
  54. Sh*itty Mom
  55. Moonwalking with Einstein*
  56. Drift
  57. Help Thanks Wow*
  58. America Again
  59. Along the Way*
  60. The Grand Design
  61. Joseph Anton
  62. F in Exams
  63. Dearie
  64. Strength Finders 2.0
  65. This is How*
  66. Darth Vader & Son