Life | multi-hyphenated-me

My Daily Blog T-8 My Life in 40 Moves June 11, 2013

Filed under: Life — multihyphenatedme @ 9:13 am
Tags: #2013, #40moves, #AZ, #brief, #CA, #castalia, #driggs, #hawthorne, #hermosabeach, #ID, #lagunabeach, #lasvegas, #longbeach, #manhattanbeach, #MI, #moving, #norwalk, #NV, #OC, #oceanside, #OH, #parks, #placentia, #playadelrey, #sandiego, #sandusky, #sanpedro, #santamonica, #spokane, #torrance, #transient, #tusayan, #venice, #WA, #westchester

Several of my “friends” have called me their transient friend since the news of our pending move. Hearing this from those who have lived within a 20 mile radius their entire lives, doesn’t surprise me. Hearing this comment from a globetrotting friend made me take pause and question what was actually being said. I had to look up “transient” to confirm the definition as my initial response to the word is derogatory as a drifter, or homeless.

Transient:

a: passing especially quickly into and out of existence : transitory <transient beauty>

b: passing through or by a place with only a brief stay or sojourn <transient visitors>

: affecting something or producing results beyond itself

“Brief stay” is what dubbing me transient. “Brief” is subjective. For me, brief is a day, a week, or a month. For others, our six years in this community is brief. What does brief mean to you?

Transient may not be the best word choice, but I have moved quite a bit. The move to Spokane will be my 40th move. My 45th birthday is in September. No, I haven’t moved nearly every year of my life. I have had the pleasure of moving multiple times in a single year to rack up the count. My moves define my life. I have lived in 6 states, Washington will be the 7th. Fifteen of my moves were beyond my control while I was dependent on my mom. Four moves during the college years. Eight moves before I realized I was in a really bad relationship before I, well, moved out. Four moves as a single mom. And eleven moves in the 16 years my husband and I have been together. Some of my moves were transient, to be sure. In 2001, while our house was in escrow in Parks, AZ, we moved to the apartment my husband’s company provided in Tusayan, AZ, at the gates of the Grand Canyon. Sixty days we lived at the Grand Canyon. Our daughter became a Junior Ranger and we hiked and explored every day. I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything. In fact, I wouldn’t change most of my moves as they, for the most part, have all been for the better. There are some moves that I’m not so thrilled with, but they have shaped my character and made me who I am. Transient or not.

Here is a list of the places I’ve lived:

1. Monroe, MI

2. Sandusky, OH

3. Castalia, OH

4. Sandusky, OH

5. Norwalk, OH

6. Driggs, ID (Teton Valley)

7. Santa Monica, CA (1)

8. Santa Monica, CA (2)

9. Torrance, CA (1)

10. Torrance, CA (2)

11. Playa del Rey, CA (1)

12. Playa del Rey, CA (2)

13. San Diego, CA

14. Playa del Rey, CA (3)

15. Santa Monica, CA (3)

16. Long Beach, CA

17. Playa del Rey, CA (4)

18. Westchester, CA

19. Hermosa Beach, CA (1)

20. Redondo Beach, CA (1)

21. San Pedro, CA

22. Venice, CA

23. Hawthorne, CA

24. Redondo Beach (2)

25. Manhattan Beach, CA

26. Hermosa Beach, CA (2)

27. Oceanside, CA (1)

28. Westchester, CA (2)

29. Redondo Beach, CA (3)

30. Redondo Beach, CA (4)

31. Placentia, CA (1)

32. Tusayan, AZ (The Grand Canyon)

33. Parks, AZ (1)

34. Las Vegas, NV

35. Laguna Beach, CA

36. Oceanside, CA (2)

37. Parks, AZ (2)

38. Placentia, CA (2)

39. Placentia, CA (3)

40. Spokane, WA

What is most interesting to us about our Spokane move is that Spokane has been selected by us, for us. Most of my other moves have been dictated by employment, the economy, or current situation. Spokane is a grown-up move. We have researched and selected Spokane based on everything it offers us as a family and each of us individually.

Is Spokane our end all? Who am I to say? Home is where my heart is, wherever that may be.

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My Daily Blog T-9 Single Digits June 10, 2013

Filed under: Life — multihyphenatedme @ 9:50 am
Tags: #2013, #CA, #connected, #countdown, #fryingpan, #marriage, #noshit, #OC, #placentia, #pressure, #spokane, #t-", #takeout, #WA

My husband read my blog for the first time last night. He may have felt some peer pressure from the going away party Friday night when all of my friends were shocked that he didn’t read my blog. When he finally stopped asking about WordPress and my webpage, his first comment on the blog was “What is the T-# about?” Dude, are you new to our life? No, after being together 16 years including lucky thirteen years of marriage, he is not new here. Dang it though, he brings up a good point for new readers. If you’re new to my blog, “T-” is the countdown to our move from Placentia, CA, in the OC, to Spokane Washington. We are now at T-9. Nine days until we move. Single digits. Shit is about to get real.

As if life hasn’t been real up until now. The move isn’t complex. Work is still work. Our social calendar is ridiculously full with end of school, 6th grade promotion and other typical activities. No pressure. Just another day in the life.

Ok, there is some pressure. Even though we’re at T-9, my entire house has to be packed by Sunday June 16 in order to get the stuff shipped. I don’t have 9 days, I only have 6 days. We physically leave in nine days. Big difference. Six days definitely applies some pressure. Then there are some other issues….

My husband and I discussed meals for the next nine days. We have lots of events this week during or immediately after dinner. The kitchen, in its entirety, needs to be packed. I voted for take-out every night with the promise that I’ll cook every meal every night once we arrive in Spokane. Mr. Spoiled and Frugal says no, we have to have home cooked meals every night as it’s too expensive to go out. This is why women throw frying pans at their husbands. No, I didn’t throw any pans, but I thought about it. He has clearly forgotten who he has married. My household role is to plan, shop and put the food on the table. For the next nine days, I’m going to plan the restaurant, drive to the restaurant and put take-out food on the table. The food will be healthy, no fast food, so no issue. Practical and sane, both of which I strive for daily. Why was this even discussed? Decision made.

Clothing is another issue. Currently we have way too many pieces of clothing lying around as we sold the dressers this weekend. I did an initial packing of winter and out of season clothes weeks ago but there’s still too much out. Tonight’s project is to purge everyone’s wardrobe down to nine outfits. That’s it. Everything can be rotated, interchanged, washed and ready to go. If we look a bit more bizarre than normal, keep in mind, we’re moving.

Higher on the totem pole is the internet modem which will stay in place until the final possible moment that it has to be unplugged. We may look a fright but we will be connected. Priorities people.

T-9. The final week of school. Our final full week in our neighborhood. The countdown to our move is definitely on.

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My Daily Blog T-10 Rest and Relaxation June 9, 2013

Filed under: Family,Life,Links — multihyphenatedme @ 7:54 am
Tags: #105degrees, #2013, #annenbergretreat, #bicycles, #gardens, #laquinta, #laquintaresort, #obama, #palmsprings, #peace, #pool, #poolside, #relaxation #randr, #rest, #sunnylands, #tan, #tennis, #vacation, #xi

Boxes, packing tape, packing paper is in every room of our house. Our furniture has been sold (we’re starting fresh and will buy new furniture to suit our mid-century house once we get to Spokane ). The kids are sleeping in sleeping bags on the floor. Clothes are strewn around the bedrooms in some sense of chaotic order, yes the dressers went too. With just the essentials left unpacked for our remaining 10 days, the house is beginning to not be a home but an open storage facility.

We need a break from our reality. Weeks ago, we made reservations at La Quinta Resort (www.laquintaresort.com), one of our favorite Palm Springs area resort destination with the kids. After the going away party, with emotions high, the kids need a break from the in-your-face reminder that we’re moving. We love La Quinta for the 1926 Spanish ranch style, built against the mountains you don’t feel like you’re in another hotel, large rooms to accommodate our brood, multiple pools and restaurants and beautifully groomed 45 acres.

Yesterday morning we headed to La Quinta for our final hurrah in the desert. We arrived in the area just in time for streets to be shut down for President Obama and Chinese President Xi and their multiple vehicle entourage to pass as they travelled to The Annenberg Retreat at Sunnylands in Rancho Mirage. The kids were excited as the cars passed. My husband not so much.

Once the hoopla passed, we made a beeline for the resort. We brought our bicycles so the boys started riding around as soon as we arrived. Within moments we were poolside. Let the rest and relaxation begin.

If you have never been to Palm Springs, you really have no choice but to relax in 105+ degree temperatures. You instantly melt into your lounge chair then pour yourself into the pool to refresh, then back to the chaise rotating like a rotisserie chicken to get a perfect golden tan. That’s just the first 10 minutes. Some of you reading this post will instantly dismiss desert heat by saying you don’t like heat. I hear you. I don’t like heat either. My family will confirm that when the temperature climbs about 80 degrees I am not happy (read: I will bite your head off) unless I’m at the beach, a pool or the AC is cooling me down. That’s why you must be still in Palm Springs. The heat is relaxing and tolerable if you just stay mellow. Do not follow my husband and children around as they bicycle miles, play tennis or this wacky version of baseball using palm tree bark/frond for a bat and a tennis ball in the Palm Tree Garden, unless you are this immune-to-heat type. The added bonus for me is that while the boys are out doing their thing in the heat, I am left in peace, which for any mother, is golden.

Thanks La Quinta for the memories. You have been good to us over the years, providing this momma much-needed rest and relaxation.

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My Daily Blog T-11 The Love of Friends and Cake June 8, 2013

Filed under: Cooking,Creative,Family,Life — multihyphenatedme @ 9:38 am
Tags: #2013, #cake, #california, #farewell, #fiesta, #germanchocolatecake, #goodbye, #OC, #party, #partyfavors, #placentia, #postcards, #sangria, #senoras, #sourcreamalmond, #spokane, #strawberryjam, #washington, #wizardofoz

“A heart is not judged by how much it is loved, but by how much it is loved by others.”

The Wizard said to the Tin Man, The Wizard of Oz

Our hearts are full of love for my friends that hosted our going away party last night as well as for those in attendance. Over 100 people ate, drank, went swimming, played water polo/soccer and hung out in support of us, our children and our decision to move from Placentia, California – the OC – to Spokane, Washington. Nothing makes a party better than street tacos, beer, sangria, sodas, salads, dips and, my favorite part, cake. Thank you my dear friends, my six senoras, that hosted the party. I love you for your thoughtfulness, kindness, generosity and, most of all, your friendship.

I have to give a shout out to my friend made this Fiesta Cake for the occasion:

The bottom layer is an inside-out german chocolate cake with chocolate ganache. The second tier is sour cream almond with strawberry filling with buttercream frosting. The third tier is ooey-gooey chocolate with chocolate buttercream frosting. All wrapped in fondant and decorated to match our fiesta theme. Was it any good? I made the ultimate sacrifice and ate (not tried, ate) a slice of each. Which flavor was best? That is a tough, if not impossible call. I had to have a second slice of the sour cream almond just to confirm that all flavors are fabulous! How lucky am I to have leftovers in the fridge!! A huge thank you to my friend that made the cake.

As party favors, I gave each family a jar of homemade strawberry jam. For the kids, we gave addressed and stamped California postcards to send California love to the boys. Hopefully this will create a fun summer pen pal program and help keep everyone in touch.

Thank you my friends. You are not easy to leave.

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My Daily Blog T-13 Act of Kindness June 6, 2013

Filed under: Life — multihyphenatedme @ 8:28 am
Tags: #2013, #actofkindness, #caution, #freakmagnet, #give, #hashtag, #marketing, #socialmedia, #spokane, #twitter

Yesterday, in response to tweeting my blog post T-14, I received a tweet reply from a local Spokane guy that describes himself as an “Aspiring Coffee Geek – Hashtag Enthusiast – Photobomb Artist – I’m taller than I look in my bio photo! What do I really do? …”. Turns out he’s a well-connected New Media Marketing Strategist (whatever that is) that is kind enough to reach out and connect me with other Spokane tweeps. YES!

After connecting with a few people, I told my husband that I’m already making friends in Spokane. He gave me a raised eyebrow look so I told him of my twitter action. My husband is not a fan of social media as he believes it to be a total time suck. Keep in mind he doesn’t do in person “social” much, he has his core group of friends but social only happens when he has to, thanks to his chatty well-connected wife. He is completely capable, a very nice man, intelligent with big ideas and lots to say with no tolerance for small talk and inability for remembering anyone’s name. I, on the other hand, my husband quickly reminds me after I tell my story, am a freak magnet. Maybe just a people magnet with a strong pull toward the bizarre. In all fairness, I repel people too typically because I overwhelm them but that’s a discussion for another blog post. My husband goes back to whatever he was doing with the advice to proceed with caution.

He knows better. Caution and I are not the best of friends. Jumping in with both feet is more my style. It is Twitter, 140 characters or less, I’m safe, jump. I conversed with Mr. Spokane a bit and followed all the Spokane people and joined the Spokane groups he recommended. It took all of ten minutes.

A simple act of kindness, a short tweet exchange was just so NICE. I tried to remember the last random act of kindness I had given or done for someone. I can honestly report that while in moving mode, it hasn’t been recently. Note to self: get back on track with giving.

@DoyleWheeler, thank you for your act of kindness, for connecting me with Spokane and for reminding me the importance of reaching out and helping others.

Go out and give!

Follow me on Twitter @BethBakulich

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My Daily Blog T-15 Acceptance, Courage and Wisdom June 4, 2013

Filed under: Life — multihyphenatedme @ 8:34 am
Tags: #2013, #choice, #courage, #decision, #friends, #people, #popularity, #prayer, #serenityprayer, #tolerance, #wisdom

The Serenity Prayer has resonated with me this week.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

People, their words and actions and contradictions, never cease to amaze me. Myself, my husband, yes all of you, included. We’re only human, why am I surprised?

With people, you just have to accept them for who they are, as you nor me nor anyone can change them. Is this true? Universal acceptance? Yes, I believe this is true. I accept you for all that you are. I am not your judge, and you are not mine.

Courage comes into play with choice. You choose to allow someone in your life. Deciding whether or not to allow a person into your life, to run in your circles, takes courage. The choice to involve someone in your life is typically easy. The choice to not allow someone in your life is not fun, but sometimes, for serenity and sanity’s sake, the choice is yours to make. This is, after all, your life, you are empowered to make choices concerning your life (in case you’re new to the game I thought I’d add this as a reminder).

Notice in this prayer there is no mention of tolerance. Do you have people in your life that you accept who they are but you can only tolerate for only so long? The Serenity Prayer is not so black and white, tolerance is the challenging gray area.

Wisdom to know the difference of when to accept or to have the courage to change your involvement with people sometimes takes learning some lessons along the way. With human compassion and trust, we allow people in our lives that continually lie, emotionally drain or contradict what we value. How many times do you need to bang your head against the wall in frustration after encounters with such people? Sometimes frustration occurs more often than others.

The Serenity Prayer applies to everything. We the People are so unique, brilliant, talented and equally bizarre, eccentric and challenging that we are always an easy target and topic for discussion.

For me, I most often apply this mantra to my life in general. Either accept the life your living or have the courage to change. Sometimes my decisions are wise, sometimes they are foolish. I either accept the decision made or change those decision. Sometimes these decisions are not popular. Good think popularity isn’t part of the prayer either.

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T-16 Persevere June 3, 2013

Filed under: Family,Gardening,Life — multihyphenatedme @ 8:59 am
Tags: #, #2013, #betterme, #braveheart, #cheer, #cheerleader, #family, #hellweek, #ink, #kids, #looneytunes, #moving, #paceyourself, #parenting, #persevere, #tats, #tattoos, #tweetybird, #williamwallace

No ink on my skin, just so you know. Tattoos are interesting and have a great history. Tattoos fascinate me. Tweety Bird or other Looney Tune characters always make me look at the person twice. Personally, the importance or connection to one specific character is odd. Why not the entire cast or a funny scene depicted instead? Why people choose the tats they do could be an endless research project for someone other than me. For me, there isn’t a picture or symbol that is meaningful enough that stand the test of time, forever. Words, however, are more powerful to me. Though not enough to brand into my skin. The Inspector Gadget digital display hat band is more my style. Or if rotating tattoos were possible, my forehead would be the location of choice. Today’s digital display would read: Persevere.

My youngest said when he started kindergarten, “Why do we go to school 5 days but only have 2 days off? That’s not fair”. No son, it isn’t fair, welcome to the world. If sports have Hell Week, this is our Butt Dragging Week. Coming off a busy weekend and late nights, we are definitely in prime butt dragging mode. My house, me included, did not want to get out of bed this morning. There are 10 days left until school is out, this is the last week of “work”. Sixth grade has final tests all week (as if they have any brain power left), second and third grade have tests and plays to perform. Homework all week as well. The kids are mentally checked out.

Then there is the other part of life. For me, we have the pending move which is motivating me to get stuff done. For the kids, who are struggling with their emotions with the move, each day closer to the actual move is more and more difficult. “We must persevere” is not what they want to hear, nor what anyone wants to hear, in times of struggle. For me, compassionately parenting the woeful is my challenge.

What we need is a rally cry. Where is William Wallace when you need him? Maybe we just need face paint and kilts? (Armor, battle axes, shields, or other battle gear intentionally excluded). That would definitely change things up around here. Oh wait, that’s a battle cry. No battles against tyranny allowed in my house where we could mistakenly (in our opinion) be viewed as tyrannical parents. You must move, you must go to school, you must take tests, you must do homework. Yep, that us.

We need a cheer! And cheerleaders! Go Team Go! Give me a P.E.S.E.V.E.R.E. Yeah! Persevere! Woo!

Or maybe something in between. Taking each day as it comes, each obstacle/hurdle/emotion along with it, and doing our best to persevere.

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T-18 Perspective June 1, 2013

Filed under: Life,Quotes — multihyphenatedme @ 7:54 am
Tags: #2007, #2013, #accident, #AZ, #crisis, #death, #fatal, #flagstaff, #friends, #lateforthetrain, #life, #love, #perspective, #thankful

Do you know where you were and what you were doing 6 years ago today? I do.

My husband was working in Los Angeles. Our two older kids were at school in Kindergarten and 7th grade. The younger two ages 3 and 2 were left with a babysitter as I drove 20 miles from Parks into Flagstaff AZ to to work with a fast wifi connection before runnng errands. My favorite stop was Late for the Train coffee shop on Milton Road for their many tables, fast wifi and good coffee. My car was on fumes when I rolled into the parking lot. I added “get gas” to my list of errands to run later.

After an hour of so, I received a call from the school superintendent to tell me, the school board president, that there was a fatal accident involving three sisters (two of our students and an 18-year-old) of a local Parks family travelling to California around midnight the previous night. The two small classes (10-15 students in each) involved, 5th and 7th grade, were extremely upset and crisis counselors had been contacted. Inside the coffee shop, I yelled into the phone for information and details. As I grabbed my computer and stuff, my phone rang again. This time it was someone (I can’t remember who) explaining that my daughter, as well as the rest of the 7th grade class, was hysterically upset over the tragic loss of their friend and I needed to get on campus as soon as possible. I explained I was in town and would arrive in 20 minutes.

Everyone in the coffee shop, strangers and those who knew me as a regular alike, stared silently as they witnessed my distress and sensed the urgency to get out of there as quickly as possible.

I ran to my car. Leaving the parking lot I realized (DAMN) no gas. I banged on the steering wheel screaming expletives. I quickly drove to the nearest gas station. In my haste and stress and delirium, I couldn’t remember what side the gas tank was on, even though I had owned the car many years. I drove around and around the pumps, unable to get the car positioned with the tank next to the pump. Frustrated and crazed I got out of the car and stretched the pump until it reached around my car to pump gas. Shaking, I only pumped what I needed to get me to the school.

Eighteen miles. Blindly driving. Crying. Screaming. Disbelieving.

Six years later, my friend grieves the loss of her babies. Each year, this is the hardest week of her life, May 31 the hardest day and summer is tough with each girl’s birthday one right after the other in June, July and August.

Yet it was this week that this friend beautifully posted: “someone somewhere is struggling more than you can imagine. be grateful for what you have, how very insufficient it may seem at times. be thankful for those around you. make sure your kids know, WITHOUT A DOUBT that they are loved. that is the greatest legacy we leave our children”.

That’s perspective.

Alohna, Bryanna, Charless, you are remembered, you are loved.

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T-19 No Bounty May 31, 2013

Filed under: Gardening,Life — multihyphenatedme @ 7:02 am
Tags: #2013, #asparagus, #gardening, #homegrown, #moving, #nobounty, #nogarden, #southerncalifornia, #spokane, #vegetables

We have yet to move, but I already miss – my garden. In order to move, we had to rip out the garden and plant grass to make the area look more (boring, like wasted space, and failing are words that come to mind) …cohesive.

I have cousins reaping 30+ pounds of asparagus in Michigan! Friends are spending time at the nurseries to pick just the right plants, planting and watering ready to reap what they sow! Oh how I long to dig in the dirt, plot and plan and watch it grow. Flowers, vegetables and fruit, I miss it all.

That’s not entirely true. I don’t miss pulling weeds or having to get up early to work in the garden before the temperatures rise. Or figuring out what is wrong with a plant or what bug or rodent is chowing down on whatever is growing. There are definite parts of gardening that I don’t miss.

Spokane has a shorter growing season than Southern California and I’ll have to adapt. The first year we will be without a true garden, maybe I’ll be able to manage to get something planted if I act soon. Next spring, though, I have big plans.

Share your gardening adventures with me! What have you planted? What do you plan to grow? Let me live through you.

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T-20 Milestones May 30, 2013

Filed under: Family,Life,Work — multihyphenatedme @ 7:00 am
Tags: #2013, #bestbossever, #blog, #cheapthrills, #collegefreshman, #collegesophomore, #lollipopguild, #milestones, #monkey, #oz, #stagelightproduction, #summervacation, #wizard, #wizardofoz, #yougogirl

Today we reach two of our many milestones in our T-countdown to our move from Placentia California to Spokane Washington.

First, congratulations to our daughter who completes her first year of college today! We’re incredibly proud of her hard work and focus…well, focused most of the time….well, ok, focused enough. She has worked 25+ hours a week, has carried 13 units each semester and has plenty of time for a social life and family time. Good job girl baby!

Our second milestone happens tonight, opening night of Wizard of Oz at the Brea Civic Theatre. Our oldest son is the Wizard and our third grader is part of the Lollipop Guild trio as well as a Monkey. The boys are excited to perform. We are excited to attend the gala event and see them in action.

T-20. Where did the last 10 days go? My husband and I sat down last night and made a list of what is left to do, assigned each task and crammed in a few more fun events into our schedule. Action packed. Guaranteed there will be no dull moments.

Somehow in the midst, perhaps as therapy or as a stress release or both, I’ve managed to blog for 10 days straight! Thanks for reading and cheering me along. My new favorite thrill is to have someone sign up to follow my blog. Go ahead – thrill me.

Blog editorial – my boss LOVED my post yesterday. His royal CFOness apparently needed the limelight cast his way or just really needed a laugh. Didn’t I tell you he is a great guy?

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multi-hyphenated-me

the hyphens that define my life

My Daily Blog T-8 My Life in 40 Moves June 11, 2013

My Daily Blog T-9 Single Digits June 10, 2013

My Daily Blog T-10 Rest and Relaxation June 9, 2013

My Daily Blog T-11 The Love of Friends and Cake June 8, 2013

My Daily Blog T-13 Act of Kindness June 6, 2013

My Daily Blog T-15 Acceptance, Courage and Wisdom June 4, 2013

T-16 Persevere June 3, 2013

T-18 Perspective June 1, 2013

T-19 No Bounty May 31, 2013

T-20 Milestones May 30, 2013

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